How to Choose a Surrogate Mother: Key Factors to Consider

Surrogacy is an excellent option for intended parents and those who wish to have a family but are incapable do it on their own. Gay couples can also experience the complete process of starting a family through an egg donor or surrogacy, from implantation to delivery. Surrogate moms are frequently humanitarian-minded ladies who desire to assist another marriage and are caring and dignified.

One of the most significant occurrences in your life is bringing a new family member. The potential surrogate or egg donor has to be in excellent health and reside in a stress-free environment to make this experience as simple and beneficial as possible for everyone involved.

Main Criteria To Choose A Surrogate

The most standard method is selecting a surrogate through a surrogacy agency. The gestational surrogate is chosen in one of two ways, depending on the country where the surrogacy is done:

  • Expectant parents take part in the selection procedure;
  • The future parents have no input in the surrogate's selection.

Therefore, the surrogacy agency is accountable for this. Prospective parents' participation in the procedure is not based just on jurisdiction. Some would-be parents decide against doing so and stop using the agency as a middleman. All surrogate mother's preferences are mentioned since some prefer that the intended parents stay out of the process while others wish to get involved.

If the country permits you to select a surrogate mother, you have two primary choices:

  • Selection: The agency looks for candidates who match the temperament, principles, and intended parents' way of life. The applicant won't be chosen as a surrogate until both the surrogate and the intended parents concur.
  • Catalog of surrogate mothers: When surrogates submit an application to be added to the agency's database, a profile for them is produced that includes a lot of information about them. A list is provided to the intended parent, who picks the one that most closely fits their criteria.

So, here is a brief overview of some factors to consider for intended parents:

Health History

Your surrogate's health and ability to obtain medical clearance for a surrogacy process should be your top priority when choosing a surrogate. The surrogate's genetic profile, psychological screening, medical exam, and blood tests are part of the verification process. There should be no significant medical issues with the surrogate, such as diabetes or hypertension, that might make the pregnancy more difficult.

A medical history that examines the potential mother's mental and emotional state is also crucial. You should pick a lady who is emotionally strong enough to bear your healthy child and be unreserved in giving it to the biological mother after delivery. A surrogate with a history of mental or emotional health disorders is not a good fit for this procedure, even how great and eager they may be.


The surrogate mother must be at the age of top reproductive function to create the optimum conditions for a successful delivery without troubles. The woman's body experiences less stress throughout pregnancy and childbirth. She will be able to heal more quickly than others who are past childbearing age.

For a successful pregnancy, choose a surrogate between the ages of 21 and 40 with a healthy body mass index. In this circumstance, you will receive a healthy surrogate who hasn't been exposed to any dangers that may affect the fetus as it develops. Consider the potential age-related medical issues that an older surrogate may experience, such as pre-eclampsia or hypertension, which are frequent in older women.


You'll need a lady who exhibits an unwavering desire to let the intended parents control all medical choices and participate in the pregnancy and birth. Some parents stay in touch with the surrogate, while others are less likely to do so. Look for a candidate who shares your views on the most significant matters. It is crucial to thoroughly discuss these topics to have a successful experience overall before deciding to continue moving.

You will also need a surrogate willing to undergo the necessary hormone injections to make your baby. She has to be prepared to attend appointments and arrive on time.

She needs to be ready to follow your rules, not just for the nine months of your communication but also for the whole of the child's life after delivery.

Body Mass Index (BMI)

Even though the standards are variable depending on the medical facility, a surrogate's body mass index (BMI) often falls between 19 and 33. (in particular cases, BMI can be as high as 35). Too high a BMI is linked to pregnancy and postpartum difficulties, while too low of a BMI is correlated to an increased risk of preterm delivery and short-term birth, making BMI crucial for the gestational carrier (SGA).

Additionally, the pregnancy may take two to four times longer if your surrogate has a BMI that is too high or too low. It entails using more embryos, more transfers, spending more money, and waiting longer for results. However, all the aspects must be anticipated, as weight is not always the best sign of health.

Pregnancy And Delivery History

Most intended parents prioritize pregnancy history, and rightfully so. Due to the lack of proof that surrogates can safely and effectively carry a pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby, primarily, you cannot become a surrogate without a prior pregnancy.

Given that they have fully recovered from the surgery, some surrogates who have had C-sections in the past are still ideal medical prospects. It is vital to elicit information regarding the physical and emotional aspects of prior pregnancies to determine if they are prone to any diseases or issues during the surrogate pregnancy. Nevertheless, it is advisable to let the doctor decide whether the applicant is medically healthy and whether there is any chance that previous pregnancy history problems would reoccur.


The location of your surrogate is vital to pay attention to because gestational surrogacy regulations vary from state to state. You should consult a competent family formation attorney to assess your exact situation, as parental rights laws vary considerably, even throughout counties. To guarantee that the intended parents have full parental rights to the child (or children) received through IVF from a third party, you must be aware of the jurisdictions where the surrogacy process is legal.

In all likelihood of traditional surrogacy, you'll have to travel a little while to decide where your possible surrogate will reside. It can be an interstate trip as well as a flight to a smaller region of the globe far from a big airport. Technology also allows people to stay in touch regardless of distance by utilizing messaging, video conferencing, phone conversations, etc.

Relationship Status

The kind of connection you want to have with your surrogate both throughout the pregnancy and after the baby is delivered depends on whether you want the surrogate to be a vital part of your kid's life or if you want to end the communication. After all, surrogate mothers are moms in their way, and they may have a variety of family arrangements. Some gestational carriers have a family member or companion to help them through the procedure since they are married or in a committed relationship.

Others can be single mothers who rely on their friends and relatives for help. The fact that she has a great support network for the procedure and that others around her are supportive of her reproductive journey is a more crucial consideration when choosing a surrogate mother.

Find Your Perfect Surrogate

The details on how to find a surrogate mother might often overwhelm biological parents, but one of the most crucial characteristics of a qualified candidate is the social component. You risk missing out on the chance to meet a lady eager to support you in your search for fertility if you get too preoccupied with the checklist.

If you handle to find the perfect candidate for you, your companion, and your unborn child, the procedure may be seamless and gratifying. Consider your medical history, age, willingness, and relationship with her. This process depends heavily on connections. Leave the rest of the procedure, including the medical component and fertility, to the professionals.

The Influence of Love

The selection of the right surrogate involves several different criteria. Although it's crucial to keep the human experience in mind as you go because if you don't, you can lose the chance to meet someone amazing who wants to help you reach your dream of being a parent. You cannot judge this quality by lists or criteria; you can only feel it in your heart.

The whole process of gestational surrogacy is a delightful adventure that will guide you in starting a family. Choosing a surrogate with a huge heart and the capacity to love is vital. You get the impression woman you have chosen is sincerely willing to support you.


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